I thank my Grandma Flicek in heaven for nudging me to

get a mammogram. 

November 29th I had my first mammogram. 

Between then and now
it has been a whirlwind of many doctors appointments: zoom in mammograms, biopsies, MRI, consultations, a bilateral mastectomy February 7th, physical therapy, chemotherapy treatments, healing and many emotions. Reconstructive surgery will happen in July.

What a journey... I dubbed it, "My dance with cancer."
Ever since I was a child if something is related to dancing I can wrap my head around it. This clicked when my aunt Angie taught me to drive a stick shift. "It's like a dance." So I am trying to dance through this positively and mostly have.

As Spring came along, I have been fighting my emotions and feelings of guilt. I have not been able to work regularly in the studio. Take my boobs, fine, but there have been other repercussions I have been working carefully with. Lymphedema is a possible side effect from taking lymph nodes from under the arm. Lymphedema is a heaviness, swelling of the arm that can be managed once you get it but never really goes away. A way to prevent it is to not use your arm in repetitive motion as you heal. When I first heard this my eyes got very wide and my mind spun, all of the jewelry creating I do uses my arm in repetitive motion. I have been being very cautious of healing correctly, working carefully with a physical therapist because I want to continue the work I do for years to come. 

This is a different year. And I have to give myself grace to heal. But IT IS SO HARD!!! I write with tears that come so easily as I just want to be heading off to all of my shows!